Tag Archives: Kris Kristofferson

A Night Without Gin or Chicken: Valentine’s Day Is Over

Ah, Valentine’s Day. A couple of months ago I blogged about a rather undignified February 14 a few years back that involved over-indulging on gin and chicken, recalling that it was probably the best Valentine’s I’d ever had. Perhaps disappointingly, perhaps unsurprisingly, as yet another February scrambles past the half-way point, I can assure you that the gin and chicken Valentine’s remains the best one yet. Which is not to say I didn’t have a lovely time yesterday. I did. But it was mostly unremarkable. I stayed true to my February detox (yawn), finished my book (next!) and took Archie the spaniel for a stroll down King Street.

Archie raced out into the night with his usual goofy enthusiasm, dragging me reluctantly behind in my less than glamorous stretch pants and Hall & Oates t-shirt combo. Making a cracking pace in the Carlisle-esque summer rain, we passed restaurant after restaurant, packed with couples young and old, cute and not-so-cute, making declarations of love over three course meals, moderately priced white wine and tasteful bunches of flowers.

It was sweet. It was heart-warming. It was kind of cheesy. I should have been hating every second of it. I should have been sorting a playlist of heartbreaking classics in my head to remind me of why I like being single. But who am I kidding? While I do like being single, I also like a bit of sap. My favourite movie (after Sex, Lies & Videotape) is Gone With The Wind. My favourite country song is ‘Always On My Mind’ and I’ve read way too much poetry to pretend I don’t care about romance.

Which is why, instead of compiling a list of tunes more fitting of my current ‘status’ (think Pernice Brothers ‘Not The Loving Kind’, Neko Case ‘Hold On, Hold On’ etc) I’ve put together some of my favourite duets for the blog this week. Some of them are by real couples and some of them are by mere singing partners… but they’re all good. And they all make me wish I could teach Archie to bark in tune.

Waylon Jennings & Cheryl Ladd – Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

He was an outlaw. She was one of Charlie’s Angels. The dialogue at the beginning of this video makes it pretty much my favourite clip on the internet.

Waylon Jennings & Jessi Colter – Storms Never Last

If I were Jessi Colter and I’d been side of stage to witness Waylon’s outrageous flirtation with Cheryl Ladd in the previous clip, I’d have created a mighty big fuss. And then looked at what a dreamboat he is and gotten over it. Storms never last.

Rita Coolidge & Kris Kristofferson – Help Me Make It Through The Night

If he’s not standing impossibly close with an open neck navy shirt and a look of total adoration, he’s just not that into you. I take back what I said about Cheryl & Waylon. This is my favourite clip on the internet.

June Carter & Johnny Cash – Jackson

It would be plain wrong to document country duets without Johnny and June. You’ve seen the movie. Enough said.

Linda Ronstadt and Hoyt Axton – Lion In The Winter

I love this song. I love Hoyt’s awkward arm over Linda’s shoulder. I love the way she sings ‘ca-all’. Consider yourselves lucky I love y’all enough to spare you Aaron Neville.

Donovan & Crystal Gayle – Catch The Wind

Just because I’ve spared you Aaron Neville, it doesn’t mean I’m going to spare you a dose of Donovan. This video is worth it for Crystal Gayle’s hair alone. I would tell you this is as sappy as it’s going to get but there’s still a Kenny Rogers video to come.

Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn – You’re The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

Unfortunately there’s no video for this one. But I really like the ugly pink jacket Conway is wearing on the vinyl that has been used as the graphic. And teamed a white skivvy! I think we all know the reason the ‘kids’ have terrible dress sense.

Sheena Easton & Kenny Rogers – We’ve Got Tonight

I know it seems like a glaring omission to leave out Dolly & Kenny’s ‘Islands In The Stream’ but I have blogged about it before, and it doesn’t feature a creepy/cringeworthy/awesome bit of play acting from Kenny that comes across as him pressuring a young Scottish pop star to start a family.

Happy February 15 everybody xxx

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From the Vault Friday: You Will Hear The Locust Sing

It took five hours in the car, four aspirin, three stops along the way (a petrol station, a roadside diner, a driver reviver), two cans of Coke Zero and one excellent cassette collection to get my sister and I back to Wagga Wagga in time for Christmas. A sleepy city in south-west New South Wales, the place my family call home boasts sixty thousand residents and the state’s highest rate of teen pregnancy. And on this particular visit home, the second of my bi-annual stopovers to coincide with religious holidays I don’t actually celebrate, Wagga Wagga was also boasting a plague of locusts and a generous number of mosquitoes the size of cats. Happy times! Pest-ridden times! Family times!

With presents unwrapped, mosquitoes swatted and crackers cracked, I’ve made it back in Sydney in time to encounter pests of another kind for New Year’s Eve. But it has been so long since I made a From the Vault post I thought I’d share with you some of the classics from the aforementioned excellent cassette collection.

Waylon Jennings, ‘Ladies Love Outlaws’

Nothing says road trip like the sweet wail of Waylon Jennings as you wind down the highway. The cassette I packed was actually a Waylon/ Willie combo, which to my ears is the best of both worlds. It kicked off with this beauty, ‘Ladies Love Outlaws’.

More than any other Outlaw, Waylon had the combination of charmer/pervert perfectly balanced. Have a listen to the half-smile in his voice as he sings

Ladies touch babies like a banker touches gold
Outlaws touch ladies somewhere deep down in their soul

Smooth driving, ladies.

Kris Kristofferson, ‘Loving Her Was Easier’

Ah Kristofferson, the ‘intellectual’ Outlaw. With both of us nursing hangovers, it was important to allow for some quiet time in the car. Someone to lull us into the rhythm of the road and reflect on the year that had so quickly passed us by. Someone to make us think of past loves and future loves. Someone who I could fantasise was a past or future love…

If you doubt the worthiness of my declarations of lust for Kris Kristofferson, do yourself a favour and check out some youtube clips from A Star Is Born.

Hell, if KK was good enough for Joan Baez, Rita Coolidge, Babs Streisand and Janis Joplin, he’s good enough for me.

Beaches / 100% Hits Vol. 14

We’d just past Goulburn (home of Australia’s ‘most secure prison’) when it was decided we needed a break from country music for a while. And who better to change the vibe than Bette Midler? We could laugh as she sang about tit-slings and cry as she sang about sickly best-friends.

It was a ladies only road trip.

Do not judge us.

But just as we were gearing up for some quality power ballad sing-a-longs, I opened the cassette case to discover that some joker at St Vincent De Paul had replaced Beaches with 100% Hits Vol. 14. Lucky we both love early ’90s Top 40 as much as we love The Divine Miss M!

This cassette gifted us with many great surprises, including ‘Dreams’ by The Cranberries, R.E.M.’s ‘What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?’ and ‘100% Pure Love’ by Crystal Waters, which disturbingly, I still know all the words to.

But the car favourite was definitely Warren G (featuring Nate Dogg) ‘Regulate’.

Gang violence, horny bros, slutty hos, Michael McDonald… Bette who?

Conway Twitty, ‘Heartaches By The Number’

On the homeward stretch it seemed only fair to end the journey as it began: country style. So it was Conway Twitty who serenaded us into town, just as a swarm of horny locusts hell bent on crop destruction flew towards the car windscreen as fast as their tiny wings could carry them.

Although I found it intensely amusing to be going home to a natural disaster of biblical proportions (I spent much of the road trip penning a new festive bush ballad called ‘There’s A Locust In My Chardonnay’), the reality for local farmers was not at all funny. Just weeks after torrential rain turned the former drought zone into a muddy brown waterworld, in buzzed the locusts for round two of farm sabotage.

Heartaches by the number indeed.

Catch y’all in 2011 xxx

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